I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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