Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
