well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
