First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
