God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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