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• (443): View more from Maryland

  My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That baby is bound to be under-loved.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though

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• (510): View more from California

  but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna

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• (916): View more from California

  You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him

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