Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
