dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
