I think my vagina is haunted
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
