i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
