i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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