i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The air taste purple.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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