i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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