This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
