there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
