"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
