think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
