I think my fart just growled at me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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