get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
