hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize