We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
