The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
