ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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