so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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