U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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