Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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