Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
