Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
