Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
