i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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