On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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