can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
