similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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