How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
