peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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