I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
