So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
