Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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