So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
