i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I want a musical about memes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
