At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think a kid would responsible me up
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
