Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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