Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
