why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can I color on your dick again?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
