she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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