Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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