So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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