I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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