if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
