I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
