I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize