If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
