then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
