nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
