So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
