she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
