the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
