Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize