Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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