Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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