I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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