Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
