I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
