Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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