I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Someone signed my nipple.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
