You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
