if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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