Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
