Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
