i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
