Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
