My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
this will be a night to untag.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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