she was so not down for the gang bang
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
