I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You are the jesus of drinking
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
