I skipped work to stalk him.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
