Christians are straight up FREAKS
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
