your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize