The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
this hospital has no fireball
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
