think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
