Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
